I'm Immune! So long suckaz!

So, the swineflu - or the H1N1 Virus as they want to call it nowadays - is making it's way across the world, killing indiscrimenately claiming worldwide a grand total of 7,909 lives. I mean, yeah, normal human flu causes 500,000 thousand deaths every damn year, but that's all beside the point isn't it?

PIG DISEASE + PRESS COVERAGE = HYSTERIA + HUGE WADS OF CASH FOR THE MEDIA



God, sometimes I just need to grab my titanium bat and whack some corporate executives over the head. Y'know, just to make them think clearer. Or die. It depends.

Now, as we all know, there's no chance in S. Meyer's Twilight (aka Hell) that I am going to be infected with this influenza. I am, after all, a god among men, with all the awesomeness and... stuff - that entails. I mean seriously, me throwing in the towel because of some pussy flu? Not bloody likely. A nuclear explosion, maybe, or in a blaze of glory surrounded by ten times - no, make it a hundred times - as many super-killer robot cyborg gorilla ninjas from space as there are "me"s*. And only if I had already lost both my arms and legs. So yeah, don't hold your breath, I'm not going anywhere - metaphysically speaking.

(*Hint; there's only one of me. For those of you counting out there.)

But still, my mother, in a fit of charming but also annoying maternal emotions insisted that I take the vaccine. Because I'm entering the army, and because I have asthma. Bah, asthma? I'm like the bloody Daredevil, if I get a handicap i make it a superpower. I mean, if he gets a sonar from being blind, what do I get from messed-up lungs? Probably being able to live indefinitely without air. Like, in space and stuff. I haven't tested it yet though, space is overrated, and hasn't been the same since I defeated the Evil Lord Xenu.

So yeah, I go in and take the vaccine - which by the way has the smallest needle in the history of sharp objects - pay, and leave.

And now my arm is hurting like a... I was going to say bitch, but that doesn't really make sense does it? Or maybe the saying refers to the emotional pain a human female typically categorized as a "bitch" causes to those around her.

Damn I'm awesome.