'Sup folks?

How's it hanging, female canines?

It's been a while, but to be frank, no one really cares. If you did, you would give me all your money, and you haven't, so you clearly don't. Case solved.

Okaaaaayy... Sooo... It's a new year, andaaah.... how's that working for ya? Hm? A new decade even? Did you think about that? Well, maybe you should.

You illegitimate child.

Well, I know what I did on New Year's Eve. Kicking ass as a conférencier at a local event along with my mate Steffen. Boo-yah. I'm telling you, we rocked so hard they should've invented a time machine so we could have gone back in time and done it on New Year's Eve 2000. Cuz that would've been awesome.

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As some of you know, I'm entering military service in just a couple of days. In this very moment, I'm sitting in my sister's apartment in Oslo, chilling a bit before travelling to Sessvollmoen camp, and the north to Skjold military camp. Boo-yah.

To be fair, I think we all know that this is it. They're probably going to send me off to fight some psycho covert Neo-Soviet general with some utterly insane troops. Sure, I'll kill them easily enough, but at some point you just can't be bothered. I mean, I'll probably just wander off in search of a proper smoothie or something. Not that I really like smoothies... Actually I don't know where that came from. Bloody smoothies. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Aaaannyway... I think I'll need to thank my mate Harry for giving me some nice, concrete advices regarding the military service. Kudos. (Which by the way is a Greek word. I'm sure Harry will be happy to tell you that - he's Greek after all. )

Well, that's all. Cheers, cigarettes.

(Don't forget; please leave your interesting and creative responses in the section below.)