Super Heroic Tweets!

While many of you know that I am an all-around super fellow, few of you know that, occasionally, I put on the ol' cape and body-condom and go out to fight crime, protect the innocent, beat up giant space ape ninja zombies and all that jazz. (Indeed, the last giant space ape ninja zombie was in fact a professional jazz artist on his homeworld. Still, it WAS clobberin' time)

For that purpose, I've registered a Twitter account for my alter-ego, Captain Heroic, where he (that is, I, but don't tell anyone. It's a secret identity) will spill the beans (not literally.) concerning his (that is, mine. But still; it's a secret.) heroic endeavours to make the world a safer place. And what kind of food he ate that day.

Because on Twitter, that shit is compulsory it seems.

I present to you, the Super-Tweets of Captain Heroic!!

http://twitter.com/CaptainHeroics

(Also, keep it on the low that I'm the superhero. And whatever you do don't post anything about the connection between me and the Captain Heroic on the internet. What do you mean I'm on the inern- Ooooooh, shi-)

Wedding Speech Crashers

For some reason, I came to think about the worst possible ways to open a weeding speech the other day. I'm going to rate a few of them, and then see which one you think is the best.

#1

"Dear bride and groom, this is really a special day for all of us! Jess, you've finally found the man in your life. I'm sure that even though throughout your last relationship you kept calling me in the middle of the night to come over and sleep with me, this will end with you now marrying Bob. You might be a notorious cheater that is completely incapable of staying true to a single man, But if anyone can change you it's Bob. Right?"

#2

"John! Look at you there, with your beautiful bride by your side? Who'd thought that seven years ago when you and I were doing crack and selling pot to the kids in junior high? I guess prison must've changed you. Sure, I know you've always told you in-laws you were serving abroad during that period, but I'm sure you told them the truth before wedding their daughter - right?"

#3
"Rachel! Don't marry Ted! Don't marry Teeed! I love you Rachel! Doesn't that count for anything? What about those moments we shared? Didn't those looks count for anything? I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!"

#4

"I totally just shat my pants."

#5

"Tom, as you know marry Liz, there's a thing you should know. Sure, she's got a nice rack now, but that doesn't remedy that fact that she used to be a dude. Like - with balls. I really got to hand it to you, Tom. Knowing that would freak me out and - now why are you retching?"

It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!

I kind of feel like a necromancer now, using dark arts to reanimate something that should've stayed dead and forgotten. I can virtually feel the blog rise, it's files and updates long rotten beyond recognition. I'm *this* far from cackling maniacally and reaching my fingers at the sky as a lightning does what lightnings do best; provide ample ambience. I'm *this* far from hearing my blog moan "braaaaains" as it shambles towards the nearest village for sustenance. Not that dead things should require food anyway, but that's the trope anyway.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, where are we nowadays?

Well, military-wise little has changed. I've spent a few more days out in the rain, snow and mosquitoes, I've fired some more from from machine guns and assault rifles and grenade launchers, I've marched a few more miles, I've sweated a few more gallons, and I've broken my rib twice - the latter time being right now. Oh, the humanity.

Still, last time I updated from my real life I brought you the necessary info on the army unit I serve in, so I don't really feel like talking about that now.

In other news I've somewhat recently laid my gorgeous fingers on a Collector's Edition of Blizzard Entertainment's new masterpiece that is StarCraft II, and boy is it awesome. Imagine if a unicorn and a dragon had a baby, and THAT baby learnt Kung Fu, Ninjitsu and paired up with Wolverine to kill the Devil.

Yeah, it's THAT awesome. It's so awesome in fact, that if someone were to kidnap my copy of it, and demand that I in return of getting it back had to beat the crap out of all my friends, I would gladly do so. So, in the event of this happening, you should keep a copy of your own in back up, just in case you need to bribe in into not kicking your ass. I'm just sayin'.


Right now, I haven't got much to say, next week is yet another exercise, which is a military way of saying that I'll be sleep-,dryness-, food- and warmth- deprived for the next five days. Yay me.


Crap, this entry doesn't even have a relevant picture. I'll just google for "relevant picture" and see what comes up.

Yup.

Facebook Group

Not really as much of a update as something for you to chew on;

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=116044641770533

Check it out.